February 2012
51 posts
She takes my mind to a far better place, she’s everything I’ll ever need.
“People don’t give a fuck and it makes me sick to my stomach, hollow...”
“Marry me girl, be my fairy to the world, be my very own constellation.”
Haze
Plans for the day changed a little, I found myself lacking the enthusiasm to even eat let alone make food. Instead I have spent the day going outside sitting in this storm smoking my fathers cigarettes and then coming in at periods to read this book and shower alot. The events of these past two days have been pretty profound and I guess time will tell how my family and I deal with them. At this...
I really feel as if I’m changing for the better, today I’m going to eat healthy, exercise this fucking hangover away, read alot of Scar Tissue and play guitar until I can’t keep my eyes open anymore.
It’s been nine months since I have been dating the most elegant, intelligent and beautiful girl on the planet. I love Edith Lumsden.
I want to sleep in the same bed as her every night.
“In the Cynic trance.”
Sick of going sober
Sick of starting over
Sick of Black Flag
Sick of Cro-Mags.
Sick of living
Sick of people dying
Sick of the buying
Sick of trying
Sick of television
Sick of telephones
Sick of homophobes
Sick of condos
I’m sick.
Crashing out.
Words really cannot begin to describe the past few days, no description will suffice. Everything has been so incredible and flawlessly perfect although with huge contrast between each day. After seeing La Dispute perform so brilliantly I decided I really must play more live shows whether it be with existing bands or something new. Looking into my girlfriends eyes the past two days has been so...
“Can I kiss your dopamine?”
This is the place.
This is the place where all The junkies go Where time gets fast But everything gets slow Can I get some vaseline Step into a modern scene Take a chance on that Which seems to be The making of a dream I don’t want to do it Like my daddy did I don’t want to give it To my baby’s kid This is my calling I said my darling Shocking, appalling All I can do to you Hammers are...
“I could die for you.”
“We cast our hearts in plaster.”
Probably getting fired, definitely not giving a fuck.
I have not played live in a while, It’s going to be fucking mental.
Got a new movie I want you to know, Slicin up eyeballs I want you to know, Girlie so groovy I want you to know.
Rob’s going away then La Dispute and city times with friends next weekend. Good.
I fucking love this.
Girlfriend is asleep on the other end of the phone, things are ok.
“Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.”
Shaving my head as soon as possible.
Baby.
The amount of pills I’m taking, counteracts the booze I’m drinking. And this vanity I’m breaking, lets me live my life like this. And well I find it hard to stay, with the words you say
Oh baby let me in
Oh baby let me in.
Tonight will consist of me listening to Jeff Buckley and Joy division, Smoking too much and doing my literature and psychology homework.
I just want my girlfriend here so I would not feel so fucking low.
Tides of apathy.
I care less and less about people, never thought of my self as a narcissist but the low calibre of humans is really getting to me lately.
I’m so fucking worried about a year I feel I have no control over, I hope no one leaves me but I feel it is imminent.
“Volatile as anything right now.”